What makes the power of forgiveness comparable to God? The very nature of humans is to get angry and feel resentful towards those who have hurt us or did some harm to us in any way. We tend to remember the undesirable actions of others which impacted us and made us feel bad. Forgiveness is the act of overcoming the feeling of resentment or revenge for the person who has done wrong actions.
How forgiving are you? Try this forgiveness practicebased on Enright's work. You can also make a practice of recognizing that every person is unique, special, and irreplaceable.
You may come to this through religious beliefs or a humanist philosophy or even through your belief in evolution. You can show love in small ways in everyday encounters—like smiling at a harried grocery cashier or taking time to listen to a child. If you practice small acts of forgiveness and mercy—extending care when someone harms you—in everyday life, this too will help.
Perhaps you can refrain from honking when someone cuts you off in traffic, or hold your tongue when your spouse snaps at you and extend a hug instead. Sometimes pride and power can weaken your efforts to forgive by making you feel entitled and inflated, so that you hang onto your resentment as a noble cause.
Try to catch yourself when you are acting from that place, and choose forgiveness or mercy, instead. If you need inspiration, it can help to seek out stories of mercy in the world by going to the International Forgiveness Institute website: This may seem obvious; but not every action that causes you suffering is unjust.
To become clearer, you can look carefully at the people in your life—your parents, siblings, peers, spouse, coworkers, children, and even yourself—and rate how much they have hurt you. Perhaps they have exercised power over you or withheld love; or maybe they have physically harmed you.
These hurts have contributed to your inner pain and need to be acknowledged. Doing this will give you an idea of who needs forgiveness in your life and provide a place to start. The more hurt you have incurred, the more important it is to forgive, at least for the purpose of experiencing emotional healing.
You may be able to do this accounting on your own, or you may need the help of a therapist. However you approach looking at your pain be sure you do it in an environment that feels safe and supportive.
Develop a forgiving mind through empathy Scientists have studied what happens in the brain when we think about forgiving and have discovered that, when people successfully imagine forgiving someone in a hypothetical situationthey show increased activity in the neural circuits responsible for empathy.
This tells us that empathy is connected to forgiveness and is an important step in the process. If you examine some of the details in the life of the person who harmed you, you can often see more clearly what wounds he carries and start to develop empathy for him.
First, try to imagine him as an innocent child, needing love and support. Did he get that from the parents? Research has shown that if an infant does not receive attention and love from primary caregivers, then he will have a weak attachment, which can damage trust.
It may prevent him from ever getting close to others and set a trajectory of loneliness and conflict for the rest of his life. You may be able to put an entire narrative together for the person who hurt you—from early child through adulthood—or just imagine it from what you know.
You may be able to see her physical frailties and psychological suffering, and begin to understand the common humanity that you share. You may recognize her as a vulnerable person who was wounded and wounded you in return.
Despite what she may have done to hurt you, you realize that she did not deserve to suffer, either. Recognizing that we all carry wounds in our hearts can help open the door to forgiveness. Find meaning in your suffering When we suffer a great deal, it is important that we find meaning in what we have endured.William Blake — ‘It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.’.
It is easier to forgive an enemy. Posted on August 20, August 20, by admin “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”. Because forgiveness is like this: a room can be dank because you have closed the windows, you've closed the curtains. But the sun is shining outside, and the air is fresh outside.
In order to get that fresh air, you have to get up and open the window and draw the curtains apart. One or both of you may not know how to forgive.
You can learn. First, though, consider why a husband and wife may find it so difficult to forgive each other. WHY IT HAPPENS. Power. It is easier to be forgiving when you accept your spouse for who he or she is, flaws and all. Forgiveness comes easier with the passing of time.
I tend to find that, if I am wronged, I forgive the person before they forgive themselves, and when I am in need of forgiveness. For me, it is easier to forgive because I control that; it's my decision. Begging for forgiveness is fine, I've done it and I'm not to proud to do it.
But it is up to the other person to do the forgiving. And unsuccessful begging doesn't appeal to me.